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Owzat: Chats cheer Idle's wicket

Clunk: Castle hits a six

By the Finger (Philip Barrass) 

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The Fallopians took on a weakened Chats Palace (now, there’s a thought) on Tuesday evening. 

Not only were Chats missing a number of familiar long-serving faces; they were forced to borrow Andy Barrow from the opposition. 

In the event, Andy would score a personal best, but against his home team, so being the first Fallopian on record to register a negative batting average. Well done, Andy!

Chats’ batting crumbled away quickly, as newcomer Paul Marinko bowled the over of a lifetime, or perhaps it just felt that long. 

Judith and Penny played solidly in the middle of the innings, giving Chats a target of 67 to bowl at.

  The Fallopians’ openers strolled calmly and confidently to the crease. 10 overs should be enough. 

Shall we bother to get anybody else to pad up? Maybe one. 

They reckoned without Killoran, who swerved and cut the ball through their defences with a delicacy and finesse worthy of Courtney Walsh, only shorter, possibly a little older, paler, less West Indian, more Irish, slower, and not (as far as I know) having a friend called Curtley. 

Only his 4-over limit saved the Fallopians from ignominy, as he returned figures of 4-19.

The Fallopians were rescued by their long-time opener Clarke, enjoying his sojourn amongst the other ranks at number 6 to swing his way to a carefree and unbeaten 17. 

His average for the season now stands at a creditable 37.5, only 136.5 behind injured captain Barrass’ from last year. 

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(The Finger's literary moment follows... )

The sweet smell of seduction saturated the steaming sky. The siren swerved, teased, teased, tempted, spat hard. 

Ageing men reliving lost adolescence, they played along. This seductress was friendly, entrancing. 

She shimmied towards them, darting away suddenly, left them groping. What? Nothing. They tried to touch her. HA! Not good enough. 

None of them. She struck. Four times, a silent stiletto slipped through the ribs. Four of the best “in the pavilion”. 

Then she slid away, her time spent. Her replacements just didn’t have it. Bully-by Clarke did, and he gave it out big. No mercy. Savage, raw, stupendous. 

And that was that.

Oh, and Tim got some runs.

Oh, yeah?

On the supporting bill, comedy duo Marinko and Barrow, The Fallopians’ own Little and Large. Nice act, boys, but a bit long, perhaps?

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The damage that one man can do: the Killoran legacy

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