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August 14, 2002 vs Stoke Newington (friendly) Lost by 1 run

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Umpiring wide of mark
By Philip Barrass

 

Disgusting
A
nnoying
V
ile
I
nconceivable
D
evastating

Shocking
U
nbelievable
L
aughable
T
ainted
A
ppalling
N
auseating
T
urdy
I
dibollocksotic 

Above: The umpire whose name we cannot reveal

Just a few of the reactions to the decision made late in the game that tipped the delicate balance and ruined an evening of pure entertainment.

The umpire who made it cannot be named for fear of the awful reprisals that would surely come.

The match had had it all. Solid batting, tight bowling, sportsmanship, courage, stealth and power were all in evidence. 

Stoke Newington ran up a decent, competitive score, Gary Boyd ending their innings with a fine soaring caught-and-bowled that may be his last ever action in the field for the Fallopians. 

The Fallopians allowed the opposition’s ninth man bat, and they returned the favour by lending the burgeoning talents of young Chris to their opponents. 

In reply, the Fallopians shuddered early on, but then paced themselves like Steve Ovett on the shoulder of Sebastian Coe; smooth, easy, a smile to the crowd and a stiletto ready to slide in. 

The final over came. Only 5 needed. The first, a dot. 

The second, and the game was plunged into stinking, festering darkness as the ball was delivered four feet wide of the batsman’s groping blade. 

A wide. 2 runs. That should settle it. But no signal came. No wide. No runs.

A small, flickering smile from the umpire. What is he doing? Why? 

But this is cricket, this is England. No complaints, no gestures, just back to stance. A good ball, angled in, came off the pads for a leg bye. 4 to get.

Next, a single from young Chris. 3 to get, 2 balls. Have to try to hit it long. Misjudged it! The ball is in the air. Run anyway! 

Bugger. A comfortable catch, and the batsmen had crossed. 

One ball, Chris to face, 3 to win. Another attempted slog, another catch, game lost.

Still, there’s always next season. I wonder, though, if that umpire’s name is ever revealed, if there will be for him…

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Stoke Newington 102,
Old Fallopians 101
Stoke Newington win by one run

Stoke Newington
  How out Bowler Runs
David Hewitt run out   8
Sooty run out   4
James bowled Stebbins 21
Joel run out   4
Peter run out   0
Jacques bowled Paul 20
Charles stumped Stebbins 9
Paul caught Stebbins 5
Shanker not out   1
Extras  30

Total

102
  Overs Maidens Runs Wickets
Barrass 3 0 18 0
Boyd 3 0 15 1
Stebbins 3 0 22 3
Sultanti 2 0 10 0
Chris Huynh 2 2 11 0
Paul 3 0 20 1
Old Fallopians
  How out Bowler Runs
Gary Boyd bowled Jacques 2
Forster lbw Jacques 4
David Sultanti bowled Jacques 15
Jonathan Stebbins run out   21
Philip Barrass caught James 36
Paul Hosking bowled James 1
Chris caught James 6
Paul not out   0
Extras  16

Total

101
  Overs Maidens Runs Wickets
Jacques 4 0 13 3
Shanker 4 0 26 0
Charles 2 0 13 0
James 4 0 18 3
David Hewitt 2 0 16 0

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