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July 8, 2007 Friendly vs London Fields Lost by 168 runs

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Prawn sarnies can't bat, bowl

By Ed Paleit
Played at London Fields
35-over game. London Fields won toss.
Debuts: Toby Cox, Robert Press, Peter Henry.

Victory! This is what Old Fallopians’ opponents London Fields were able to boast about on Sunday. Establishing a challenging target of 253, they bowled us out for 84, ensuring a wretched and perhaps record-breaking margin of 168 runs.

Fields won the toss and gleefully chose to bat. Fallopians reduced them to 86 for 6 at one point, but then captain and no.8 Hickey came in. He exploited the short leg-side boundaries to a left-hander to record a blistering 96 before wacking a full-toss straight up in the air, to his own evident disgust.

Paleit managed to drop him the previous ball but he didn’t deserve to perish short of his hundred.

Other batsmen contributed here and there, but the other mainstay of Fields’ innings was Mr. Extras, who made a polished 56 including 34 in no-balls, most of which went over the batsmen’s heads straight into clouds of shame and embarrasment.

Amongst the carnage there were promising spells from Henry, on debut, and Clarke, although Hickey spoiled both their figures towards the end.

The only truly quality performance was John Shaw’s, who recorded a contextually unbelievable one for eighteen off seven overs, ending with a maiden. For the record, that means John went for 2.6 an over, and the rest of us for 8.4.

In reply Fallopians failed to grasp the pitch’s abysmally low bounce and succumbed to a spate of bowleds and lbws. Five ducks were racked up. Press, another debutant, managed a defiant 32 before running himself out in a mix-up with Hemelryk.

Roy attempted a face-saving late retort but at last his swiping ended like Hickey’s, for quite a lot fewer runs – and with that the match concluded. We lasted eighteen overs.

Losing this way stinks, gentlemen, it stinks.

There were mitigating factors, of course. The pitch became virtually bounceless during our innings, something accentuated by Fields’s decision to use only one ball for the whole match.

And Shaw apart, our bowling lacked any sort of line and length after so many weeks laid off, whereas Fields play on Saturdays too – and had done even during the recent stormy weather. They were a better grooved side, but personally I doubt that their talent, in aggregate, outweighed ours – certainly not by 170-odd runs.

The real reason for our defeat was simply that we bowled, batted and fielded like last month’s prawn sandwiches. Peter Moores would say that we have ‘put a platform under our performances this season’. You do not need to be Alistair Campbell to understand what this really means.

Thanks again for playing (and Peter Frisby for presiding over a calamity).


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London Fields 253
Old Fallopians 84 all out (18 overs)
London Fields won by 168 runs
London Fields
  How out Bowler Runs Sixes Fours
Hickey     96    
Extras (b, lb , w , nb 34) 56    


  Overs Maidens Runs Wickets
Shaw 7 1 18 1
Old Fallopians
  How out Bowler Runs Sixes Fours
Robert Press run out   32    
Extras (b , lb , w , nb )      


  Overs Maidens Runs Wickets

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