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| April 29, 2007 | Friendly vs USAF | Won by 124 runs | |
Bowling tricks eager aviators
By Russell Balkind "Ask not what your club can do for you, but what you can do for your club" would have been a speech that John Fitzgerald Kennedy might have made had he lived long enough to see Sunday's happenings in the Oxfordshire village of Chesterton. He may have had to have developed an interest in cricket as well but that's beside the point. It was a disappointingly overcast morning that saw The Fallopians set off for deepest Oxfordshire, their reliance on the BBC website weather forecast sorely tested. An hour and a handful of overpriced motorway service station snacks later, they arrived at Bicester Cricket Club. And what a sight greeted them - the sun had broken through the clouds to reveal a sun-kissed, luscious green pitch with what appeared to be a biscuity strip awaiting the flashing blades of the Fallopians. The joyriders of Victoria Park were but a distant memory. At least they were until the opposition told us that due to a miscommunication, which would be ironic given their day jobs working in the Communications division of the US Air Force, we weren't to be playing at Bicester but at Chesterton. We didn't quibble, surely one cricket pitch is much like another in this part of the country. They're not. To call the pitch at Chesterton green would not do justice to the verdant carpet of grass that covered it. To call it a pitch is stretching the truth a little. There was no pitch - it was a field. The Fallopians were nearly broken. We had driven miles and endured at least one too many Ginsters pies. We wanted a match. To have to drive home again so soon, having failed to do sufficient exercise to allow space for a second pie on the way home, would be horrendous. Seeing our faces, the opposition captain (though he may have been a Commander) taking a leaf from the Kevin Costner's book in 'Field of Dreams' sped off to find a lawn mower and a stencil with which to paint the creases on the newly mown pitch - "Build it and they will come." An hour later, the pitch was mown and the stumps were drawn. The USAF won the toss and decided to make first use of the green pitch. The Fallopian tradition of allowing newbies to open the batting continued and Matt Seden and Chris Sweet made their way to the middle. Their time together was brief with Seden departing in the second over LBW to Doyle. Enter Rafe Smallman for a delightful cameo containing one classical front foot cut that wouldn't be out of place in a black and white film of the glory days of cricket. He was out for 11 also LBW. Barrass strode to the crease (having handed over filming duties to someone else for a while) and struck an impetuous 23 full of leg side flicks and aggressive running. All the while Sweet was accumulating a delightful 25 at the other end. Barrass too fell LBW bringing John Shaw to the crease. Barrass and Shaw have 'different philosophies' when it comes to running but they both scored 23. They both clearly listened to their illustrious captain's call for everyone 'to play their natural game'. The Fallopians were eventually all out for an impressive 179 with Extras making a sizeable contribution. It should be noted that Balkind, after one tremendous clump down the ground for 4, fell chasing a wide one from a girl. He took this dismissal with the usual level-headedness that we've
come to expect from him. After a sumptuous tea provided by the ladies of RAF Croughton, The Fallopians took to the field hoping to avenge themselves for last year's defeat at the hands of the opposition. They were well an truly avenged. Never has the writer seen the Fallopians bowl so well. Opening the bowling was leg-spinner Will Tennant, who having had a strong LBW shout turned down first ball of the innings, took an incredible return catch to dismiss the USAF opener. From the other end, a gentle inswinger from Balkind went straight through the other opener's defences leaving the USAF in dire straits. Normally this would have been the cue for the opposition batsmen to start making hay against a smug Fallopians attack. They obviously hadn't counted on Tennant's wily leg spin which tore through the middle order leaving him with figures of 4-19 off four overs. Balkind picked up the other wicket in the top six with a slower ball of which he was very proud; one which, since he was writing the report, he felt honour-bound to mention. Seden chipped in with one wicket too, having bamboozled the opposition with some good left-arm spin. The tail was mopped up by Lieutenant Aria Perkins. Perkins normally would have played for the USAF but, due to overstaffing on their side, donned Fallopian colours and put aside any loyalty she may have had for the opposition and took three quick wickets to end with figures of 3-4 off three overs. Special mention must go to John Shaw's nonchalant catch to end the match. Standing at cover, Shaw bent down and plucked the ball, which was travelling at a fair rate of knots to the boundary, out of the air as easily as if he were stroking a dog. Words don't do the catch justice. Suffice it to say that it was
pretty special. They came anyway, they played and they had a jolly pleasant
Sunday afternoon.
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